This is what I feel like right now:
Just finished 90 minutes of my first ever yoga session, and every part of my body feels like water- so fluid, so loose and limber. And with this big stupid grin on on my face I look just like that somewhat disturbing thing up there.
It’s so physically challenging and yet so relaxing at the same time. It’s unlike any form of exercise I’ve ever tried before, and I’ve dabbled in my fair share of sports over the years.
But this is something new to me. And I love it.
I was looking for a new form of exercise to jazz up my schedule (swimming , cycling and zumba are also in the works to be pencilled in for my weekly plans) and this is perfect. I’ve rarely ever felt so clear-headed before (insert blonde joke here) like I did at the end of the session today. Even though it was difficult for me to truly clear my thoughts and just listen to my body (plus the instructor was speaking in French, so I was somewhat preoccupied with trying to figure out what the hell she was saying), in the end I still felt so calm and relaxed, like I had no stresses in the world. It was a beautiful feeling.
These yoga classes are offered for free at my university- we were given the choice to choose from a large range of activities, and yoga was one that piqued my curiosity. I wanted to experience something new. Plus I wanted to be able to do this:
But one thing that I’ve been really pushed to do lately is become more in tune with my body. Yoga is a form of meditation, a form of internal reflection, a form of heightened awareness of oneself (alright alright Ghandi, we get it). And that’s something a lot of obese and overweight people, like myself, have had issues with. I recently came to the realisation that I was an undeniable complete mindless eater. Whenever I would eat, I would always do something at the same time as a distraction, such as watch TV, go online, read, whatever. Absolutely anything that would take away the ‘boredom’ of sitting and eating in a quiet room with nothing to absorb me but my thoughts. And that’s when it finally hit me. I was using food, and whatever else could engross me, to turn off my brain. Essentially, to numb myself and my mind. To run away from any thoughts or emotions that could consume me. To run away from the world. I would wolf down food, and I would switch off. I was, in fact, an emotional eater. I had denied it for a long time, believing myself to be stronger person than all the others who couldn’t appropriately cope with their feelings. I arrogantly believed they were weak and lost, and I was not. I was wrong. I’m sure of that now.
Watch this space tomorrow for part 2 of my revelation, and how I plan to use Yoga to conquer what used to defeat me.